Depression is a bitch of an illness. It completely rocks your world. Suddenly you feel like a total failure, incapable of doing anything, floods of tears in seconds for no apparent reason, sleeping, then insomnia, anger then despair. The roller coaster of emotion can be quite horrific at times to the point of feeling physically sick because you just want it all to stop.

Then you get those sods who tell you to pull yourself together, buck up, snap out of it. If only, you wish (more on this in yesterday’s blog)

BUT

Where in all of this do you decide to try and help yourself? Herein lies the problem.

Depression is often made worse by the depressive. The paranoia that often accompanies depression keeps being fed by the depressive.

Why?

Well, the depressive allows that paranoia to run riot. They are so worried about trying to hold it all together in front of people and not fall apart that when they see two people innocently talking they will convince themselves that they are tailing about them. This is not an easy situation to overcome but the biggest hurdle is actually accepting that you are doing it in the first place. This is not about blame either, this is about making you aware of what happens.

The depressive eats badly, overeats or doesn’t eat all. Either way the brain has no hope of trying to help you if you are not fuelling it correctly. Yes, when depressed it is very, very hard to eat well but how badly do you want to recover? Ultimately, depressed or not, there are choices to be made and the only person that can make those choices is you.

Maybe you are reading this and thinking this is way too harsh. I can assure you it isn’t and I am not being unkind or in any way unfair. All I am doing is showing you, how much you have the potential to control.

There is a big BUT here and regular readers of my blog probably know where I am going with this one!

If you have hit rock bottom then you are not going to be in a place where you can do a lot to help yourself. DO NOT feel bad about this! If you are having medical intervention allow for this to kick in and for things to settle down. Once they do you will be in a better place to then help yourself but there is one golden rule,

Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps!

Depressives are SUPERB at setting themselves up for failure so don’t! Avoid setting yourself up with big goals and challenges as this will just reinforce your self sabotage that you can’t cope. Set yourself tiny goals dependant on your mood. So if you are really low and live in the house morning noon and night, your first goal could be to go in the garden for example. That is small, it is achievable but it will probably still feel like you have climbed a mountain, you will most probably also be exhausted and need to sleep afterwards, this is perfectly normal.

Be VERY aware of how negative you are, especially towards yourself. It is unlikely that it will be deliberate (although some people do) but it often happens, you end up alienating yourself as a punishment for being such a ‘failure’. You push help away that is offered to you until eventually people stop offering.

So, how can you actually help yourself. This is my essential guide.

1) Be honest with yourself no matter how much it hurts. If you are being a bitch, then face it, if you are hiding from yourself emotionally then turn around and face yourself – get my drift?

2) Stop blaming yourself. Recognise that you have a condition and an illness and it needs treating just like any other illness.

3) Challenge yourself every day but remember that golden rule of baby step.

4) Accept that on the road to recovery there will be good days and bad days.

5) Be kind to yourself, no one recovered from depression by emotionally beating themselves up.

6) Accept yourself for who you are, warts and all. This will take time, be patient.

7) Let friends and family know that you are struggling. Struggling alone is exhausting and isolating.

Eat good food whether you want to or not. If you have no appetite then make your portions tiny but have a few of them.

9) Try and get outside every day, if you cannot face people just yet then your garden will be fine.

10) Remember you are a human being and not a robot

Health and happiness x

‘Just pull yourself together dear’

My god, the number of times I was told this and every single time I just wanted to punch their lights out! This may seem extreme but as a depressed person, if you hear that, it is like someone challenging you that there is anything wrong with you at all. It is like they are saying, you can control it, it is your fault, you are making it up, you are exaggerating, you do not appreciate what you have blah blah blah blah blah.

Well, for those of you who have been lucky enough not to suffer depression, can I just set the record straight on this one.

This is not a self inflicted condition, yes there are people who I classify as ‘happy miserables’ and there is also a blog post on that

Depression is an illness exactly the same as any other illness. It needs to be treated and there are things that the individual can do to help themselves, however, if you are at your lowest point, you will, more than likely, be unable to implement the simplest of strategies or techniques that may help you. So, it may look to outsiders that they are making themselves worse, but, for the individual, they are just trying to function on a daily basis.

Depression is not about self pity and sympathy.

Depressives need support not judgement.

A depressed person will rarely ask for help from friends and family so it is essential that you continually reinforce that you are there for them, keep checking on them, make sure they are eating, washing etc. When depressed, the most simplest of tasks can feel momentous so having a shower or a bath can seem insurmountable.

BUT

One of the worst things you can do is use that awful phrase, ‘pull yourself together’.

Imagine it the other way around, how would you feel if you were the one that were in a pit of despair and someone was telling you that it was all made up, you could be happy if you wanted to, this is self inflicted etc etc? It wouldn’t be nice would it? So, please don’t do it to those you care about.

Health and happiness x

If we are ill, we expect a doctor to fix us. How about we look at why we got ill in the first place.

When suffering depression, looking for a cause is usual. How about we look at the way we have been living our lives.

If we are stressed we all too frequently, blame our jobs, partner, the kids. How about trying out new ways to handle our stress?

When overweight, it is all too easy to say that it isn’t ‘your’ fault. Well, then whose is it exactly?

This might be harsh but we have GOT to stop living in a society of ‘poor me’.

If something is not right in your life then go out there and change it – stop moaning. Work out what you don’t like and what you need to do to change it. Break those changes down into small chunks and attack those changes one small bite at a time. This benefits you in so many ways. It empowers you and shows you just how much you can and do control. You will feel more positive because you will be being proactive and creating your life exactly the way that you want it.

Stop the whining and the whinging and get doing.

This is YOUR life, stop trying to BE something and go and DO something

Health and happiness x

Vitamin C

Depression is the first clinical symptom detected when humans are deliberately deprived of vitamin C.
Glutamine

This is an amino acid that can quite literally lift depression. It is used to make the neurotransmitter glutamate which crosses the protective blood-brain barrier and so is a brain food. Brain foods help to combat depression. Ensure you eat your foods raw to get the highest amount.
Figs

The key ingredients here are potassium and fibre. The BMA state that lack of potassium can lead to poor concentration leaving your feeling fuzzy and disoriented which is associated with depression. A study at cardiff University in 2002 revealed that our diet has a marked effect on our mental well being, those that were eating a diet high in fibre had a 10% reduction in fatigue and depression. This makes sense in that fibre helps our digestive system to eliminate waste so if that isn’t working properly then the body is having to work that much harder.
Avocado

We all know these are good for us but our brains love it too! They are naturally high on omega 3 which we have already seen helps our mental well being. They also boost the bodies ability to absorb and use carotenoids (powerful antioxidants). When depressed and fatigue we need a high and steady rate of antioxidants into our system. Just eat them! I do and I don’t even like them!
Tomato

The lycopene in tomatoes has been a hot topic for a while! It is a fantastic energy building food so fights fatigue and make us feel better in general. They contain folate and low levels have been linked with depression. They are also packed with vitamin C which is a great aid in fighting stress.
Honey

Honey boosts your energy but has less of the side effects that synthetic sugar does. It is absorbed straight into the bloodstream. Honey also contains small amounts of antioxidants and when we are run down, depressed and stressed we need as many of these antioxidants as possible.
Below I have selected a handful of recipes, if you like these then you may be interested in The Fit Mind Cookbook ‘Mood Food’ and the You Tube clips.

How can you possible look to help yourself if you do not know where to go to get that help?
Do you accept responsibility for your emotions and mental state or is it always someone else’s fault?

Do you put your entire happiness on one concept?
For example, being a size 8, having the big house, then handsome husband, the dream job?
Are you aware, that these things do not bring entire happiness.

Absolutely they will bring you happiness to a point.
They will make you happy for a short space of time but it is NOT going to fix everything.

Happiness HAS to come from within.
Once your happiness is internal, no one can take it away.
If you are constantly striving to be happy through external forces then once those external forces go, so to, does your happiness.

Be confident in your own ability to make yourself happy – YOU CAN DO THIS. You just need to believe that you can.

Health and happiness x

Do you feel guilty because you are spending too much time on the business?
Do you feel guilty when spending time with your family because you feel you should be working on your business?

Has your confidence taken a knock?
Do you wish you could walk into a room full of other fit pros and be confident within yourself?

Do you alienate yourself from other fitness instructors?
Do you waste time every day looking at what other local instructors are doing worrying that you should be doing it to?

Do you blame everyone and everything else when your classes are not full?
Are you actually responsible for your business or only when it is going well?

Are you stressed?
Struggling to cope day to day and operating on adrenaline?

Are you still clinging onto those toxic classes?
Have you looked at yourself? Are you toxic?

Do you want to make every day a duvet day?
Can you not face the outside world?

These are just some of the issues I deal with in The FitPro Mind. Come and discover your real potential. Released on Monday!

Health and happiness x

Think again

1 in 4 people have had or will suffer with a mental health issue at some point in their lives.

That is ONE QUARTER of your class at every class.

Do you know who those people are?

Do you talk to your clients and find out how they are doing?

Do you know how best to support them?

Do your understand the main mental health conditions?

Are you able to advise them on the best nutrition and supplementation protocols?

Do you feel confident enough to empathise with them without being patronising?

Can you really relate to how hard it is to suffer with depression or long term stress?

Can you understand how that person may be feeling and struggling day to day?

The FitPro Mind will give you a valuable insight into the main mental health issues that don’t just affect FitPros, they can affect everyone.  Released on 14th May 2012.

Health and happiness x

In the current economic environment, work-life balance now ranks as one of the most important workplace attributes – second only to compensation, according to a recent poll of more than 50,000 global workers. The secret to work-life balance will differ depending on your field of work, family structure and finances.

But some work-life balance principles are universal, saying no and prioritising and these definitely hit home to me as a self employed fit pro – are you one of those that says yes to everything?  Yeah, I thought so.

How does this affect me as a fitness instructor?

This is one that I think every fit pro with a family really struggles with.  For a lot of us the fitness industry has not been a career from a young age so many of us come into the industry from 9-5 Monday to Friday jobs and this makes the work life balance even harder.

You are used to seeing the kids for breakfast, off they go to school and you to work.  You get in, work is over and it is family time for the rest of the evening and then the weekends are all yours too.

When you enter the fitness industry, along with the stresses of trying to make your business a success and knowing that you rely on you being busy you somehow, have to make time to be with your family.

So, if you are not feeling guilty about not being with your family you are feeling guilty because you feel you should be working on growing your business.

I have a really big issue with guilt.  I mean, what purpose does it actually serve other than to make you feel rubbish?  So, ditch the guilt.  If you know you haven’t got the work life balance right then address it but sitting there feeling guilty doesn’t solve anything.  You haven’t found time you didn’t have before, you won’t be as much fun for your family to be around anyway and it just contributes to you feeling miserable.  Not good, so let’s ditch it now!

Health and happiness x

Do you know the answer?

I would be very surprised if you did.  You see, too many of us are too busy to actually see what is going on around us, to recognise our own lives in front of us.  We are too busy putting the needs of others in front of our own and we fail to listen to our own bodies cries to be heard.  This may sound extreme but just trust me on this, it is not extreme.

We fail to recognise the importance of ourselves, to give ourselves the credit that we are most certainly due.  We see ourselves as insignificant when comparing ourselves to others yet we do not see the simplicity of the answer, stop comparing.

Why, can we not see these simple solutions?

We have been brought up in a way that dramatises everything.  Everyone telling you how hard their life is, what a struggle it is, we simply wouldn’t understand because we have it so easy. This subliminal conditioning then transposes into our adulthood and for fear or losing it, so we begin to dramatise everything.

For fear of being left out or left behind we make out our life is so hard and then eventually we begin to believe it but when you break it down into small chunks it probably isn’t that hard at all.

BUT

Where in amongst all of that ‘charade’ did you ask yourself what you wanted?  I can pretty much bet you didn’t.  You know why you didn’t?  You were too worried about missing out or not being part of the crowd.

Let’s try something radical here, be YOU.

Stop trying to ‘fit in’, stop ‘trying to blend in the background’, stop ‘trying to compete with all and sundry’ – how about just being YOU and in being you, be proud of who you are, do the things that MAKE you happy and be proud that you have your life so well sussed out that you don’t have to follow the crowd, that you are confident enough in yourself to just be you without having to worry what other people think.

No, it’s not an easy journey before those excuses start being thrown my way, but what I can promise you is that the journey is SO worth it.

Health and happiness x

There is way too much pressure in society to be happy, healthy, positive, calm patient and all the rest of it.

Well, what if you don’t want to be happy, healthy, positive, calm patient and all the rest of it?

Fair play.

Society does not have the right and CANNOT tell you how to feel, act and be.  Only you can do that and if YOU want to be upset, angry, hurt, impatient, cross, irrational, teary, emotional – that is YOUR right and it is perfectly okay to be all of those things

Right, I am off to have a duvet afternoon with a cup of tea and a weepy movies because that is MY right and I am proud of it (I want you to be proud of you too)

Health and happiness x